I have to say that the last week or two have been the best weeks I have had in such a long long time. I thought for sure, as I am sure a few of my loved ones thought as well, that I would be holed up and crying day and night for the last few weeks but I havn’t been. Things that normally would have set me off and into a spiral downward haven’t or if they have I have been able to take a step back, breath and let it go. and the funny thing is ALL of this is without my normal medication.
so what am I doing different? For one I am realizing I am not in control. I am powerless. There is nothing I can do about any of the things going on around me. No matter what happens or what I do God’s will is the one that will prevail so why fight it?
I am also spending more time at the church. I can complain about being tired or to much on my plate but to be honest it really is what is helping me heal right now. It is everything I need I right now.
Lastly I am letting those around me deal with themselves. They are all grown and have to answer to things themselves. I can’t fix them. I can’t cater to them. I have to heal me and they have to heal themselves. Don’t get me wrong I am here for anyone who needs to talk or something but I am not trying to control everyone anymore. Including my kids.
There is still so much more that I need to do. I need to make a more firm effort to be in Gods word daily besides the classes I am taking and such. I need to excercise more (and will when done with my daughters baby shower tomorrow. LOL) and I need to eat healthier. All things that lets be honest are not a problem and can be done I just need to be more diligent in the effort.
So slowly I am learning to be more content. I am learning to be more powerLESS and let God have the control. I know its going to be a lifelong road and that I am going to hit bumps, which I still do, but I will know how to handle those bumps better through the Grace of God. 🙂