Proverbs 15:1  A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a VERY bad temper.  I let things get to me more than most people and a lot of times I strike before I think.  It has caused so much hurt and hatred in my life that I have a LOT of cleaning up to do.   Being angry and hurtful to others isn’t hurting anyone in the end accept ourselves.  Others will be hurt and they will eventually move on.  But the hurt and anger will never leave you if you allow it to continue to fester.  This anger is poison to our bodies physically, mentally and emotionally.  It brings out harsh words and lost loves.

In the last few years I have been trying to clean up and change my attitude.  I have learned how to think before I speak (in most cases anyway) and I believe it has helped many of my relationships.   Last year I went through the Celebrate Recovery books and it helped so very much! Learning how to be me.  Learning how to make amends. Learning how to be ok not being the way I was in the past.  So many things learned in this group and I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who wants to go through it to find a way to do so.  Unfortunatly our church no longer hosts a group so I am in search of a new one once I get where I can actually go again.

I am not perfect or completely “healed”.  In fact the last few days I have felt so much strife and no clue why but I am trying to breath through it and let out the anxiety and hatred so it won’t eat me alive.  God doesn’t want us to feel this way.  He doesn’t what us to stir up anger in ourselves or in others.  He wants us to be gentle and loving.  Just as His son was.  So if you are struggling with anger and hatred, might I suggest you do everything you can to find out why, make amends where needed, get help for your hurts, habits and hangups and work through it until it will slowly start to disappear.  Life is so much more beautiful when this happens.  I promise.

Fear and distress

Gen.32.7.niv In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, and the flocks and herds and camels as well.

It’s funny yet sad at the same time how our automatic reaction is normally fear, distress or guilt.  Especially when we know we have done something wrong towards someone. Maybe if we would all learn to live righteously and forgiving towards others and ourselves as God commands then we wouldn’t feel so fearful and guilty.

Jacob feared seeing  his brother after 20 years because he had stolen his birth right while following the instructions of his mother.  Esau was angry when it first happened BUT his reaction of running to his brother when he heard he was coming shows us that forgiveness is possible even in the worst of times.  Esau loved and forgave his brother.  Couldn’t we do the same thing?  Or maybe we need to accept the forgiveness and forgive ourselves.

Lies and deceit

Gen.31.35.niv Rachel said to her father, “Don’t be angry, my lord, that I cannot stand up in your presence; I’m having my period.” So he searched but could not find the household gods.

Why do we lie and deceive?  Why do we use excuses to get away with things?  Here Rachel stole from her father and lied and used her monthly period ad a way to hide what she stole.  All for what some worthless junk?  All to just get what we think we want?

It is not worth it.  It will all come back at you in one way or another.  You will pay for those lies excuses and deceits.  God sees and knows everything so it is just easier to live clean and free of all those evil ways.  You would be so much happier by doing so. 

Jealousy and it’s all about me attitudes

So many stories of jealousy and deciet in the Bible.  In Genesis 29-30 we see the one of Leah and Rachel.  They use child bearing as a way to one up each other, even using servants to bear more children and to make Jacob happy.  Why can’t we just stop all this jealousy and “it’s all about me” crap?  We should be happy with what we have and what we don’t because it’s what God wants and His will.  We need to stop trying to be better than others.  Stop trying to others to “look at me, look at me”  as if it is all about us.  It’s not about us, people, it’s about GOD!!  Your supposed good works and how well you look doing them are NOTHING if done out of sefish motives and to get attention.  Even if you don’t think that is what you are doing, other can see it who are not deceived by you.  We ALL need to look deep into our souls and motives and we need to ask God to search our hearts and souls and show us what we are doing wrong and what we need to do to make HIM happy not anyone else.


Psalm 89: 32I will punish their sin with the rod,
their iniquity with flogging;
33but I will not take my love from him,
nor will I ever betray my faithfulness.
Children hear this:  Just because we punish and discipline our children does NOT mean we do not love them.  We DO love them.  We punish and discipline them because we love them and we want to teach them right from wrong and consequences of their actions.  I personally wish I had done this more with my own children when they were growing up.
Parents hear this:  Just as our Father in heaven never takes His love from us we should never take away our love from our children.  Love them unconditionally while you work through your boundaries.