Calm my fear, Lord

I feel today that I am being told that my pain is there because of my fear of letting go.  My fear that What I thought was from God wasnt and that meant that I had been wrong for so long which then my automatic reaction is to feel like a failure.  That is the pain that is still there.  Not what I thought.  The pain is caused because I felt like I failed at all of it.  BUT God is telling me it’s ok.  I didn’t fail.  I can let go of all of it and I can move forward with His love and Grace.  He will calm this emotional storm in me and bring me out of this depression with a clean and renewed spirit and purpose.  Just rest in Him.  So that is what I am going to do rest in Him.  Does anyone else need to rest Him?  Let’s pray together 
  God, We are putting it all at your feet.  We are pounding them on to your cross so that we may live without these shoulders being pushed down and free to sing and dance your praise.  We known you are our full and pure cofort and may we trust in you with everything in us so that we can live the happy and free lives you want us to live.  We love you and we worship only you Lord.  Amen


I keep picturing in my head the Blinkers that are put on race horses.  They are those little flaps or whatever you want to call them that are on the side of the horse’s eyes.  Wikipedia states that they’re used to prevent the horse from seeing behind him or to the side.  In other words it keeps the focus on what is in front of him.  It keeps the focus on the prize and running towards it.

I need a pair of these!!!  I am constantly looking behind me or into my past and second guessing my salvation and worthiness to God.  Or I am always looking off to the side wondering who’s watching, who judging me or what are others are doing when it really isn’t any of my business.  Anyone else having this issue?

We need to stop allowing ourselves to be distracted by the world.  The world tells us we can’t do or be this or that because of our past.  We can’t wear this or that or we aren’t pretty enough because there is someone standing right beside us that is prettier.  The world belongs to the enemy and he is doing everything he can to distract us and take us from God and the race that He has planned out for us.  We belong to God NOT the world.

John 17:14-16 (NLT)

14I have given them your word. And the world hates them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. 15I’m not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. 16They do not belong to this world any more than I do. 

God is the only one our focus should be on.  We need to get us all some of these “blinkers” so that we can stop looking at everything else around us.  If we truly love the Lord for everything He has to offer us than we need to keep looking forward.  Let go of our past and ignore all those around us.  He wants our full attention and we need to give it to Him.  If we don’t than we will be joining the enemy when he is cast out.  So stop loving the world and love your Father and maker.  Win this race for Him.

John 12:31 (NLT)

The time for judging this world has come, when Satan, the ruler of this world, will be cast out.

1 John 2:15 (NLT)

Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.



May our focus continue to just be on you, your plans and victory.  Even if we have to do as a race horse does and put blinkers, may we keep our focus straight forward and only on you and the Kingdom you have promised us.  Amen


What do you do when you are angry, jealous or feeling spiteful?  Do you give in?  Do you let it consume you?  Or do you realize it is from the enemy and breath out releasing the enemies hold?  I, for one, have always allowed these things to consume me.  My ex used to tell me that I was like a bull dog and once I grabbed on to something I wouldn’t let go until it was close to or already destroying me.  I still find myself doing that in some cases but I am working on learning to let it go.

You see we are ALWAYS in a battle for our own lives and minds.  We are like that child that is in the middle of a nasty custody battle, being pulled by each arm in separate direction.  Do we continue to be children of God or do we follow the worldly ways of the enemy?  We have to ask ourselves the following question EVERY morning and try and change our ways.


1 Corinthians 3:3 for you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world?


We need to work at being less worldly, less jealous, less quarrelsome, for these are the ways of the enemy.  These are the ways that God wants us to put past us.  He wants us to have a good foundation under us.  There are going to be trials and fire even on Judgement Day.

1 Corinthians 3:13-15 But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. 14If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. 15But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames.


Hold on to God’s word and all that He tells you.  Give your entire life to the Lord and your work and life will survive.  Your foundation will stand and you will be rewarded.

So the next time that someone brings their ego to you and try to start an argument be the better person and walk away.  Don’t engage.  The next time you see that someone else receives something you thought you deserved remember that God has something better and more suitable for you.  The next time someone hurts you even to the very core and you want to get revenge remember that revenge is God’s not yours.

God, may we allow you to take care of us and not the world so that we may have peace in our minds, hearts and souls.  AMEN


”People have not targeted you, even though at times it may feel that way.  Something far more cunning and ancient has you in its sights, because the dragon is afraid of what you carry!!!!”  From Girls with Swords devotional

Someone shared this with me yesterday and I wanted to pass it on for someone else.  A few things came to mind when I read this.  At first I told her that I wasn’t thinking I was targeted because people have to think I exist in order to target me.  I was partially right they do have to know that one exists in order to target them but I was wrong on my own thinking because after “marinating” over it as she suggested I thought yeah she is right.

You see I have what I have always referred to as a Lifetime movie for a life.  One drama after another it seems.  I can never seem to have peace, so this last week after the first love of my life passed away, my Papa, I have been feeling very alone.  I reached out the best I knew how but nobody reached back.  Granted I expected certain people to come swooping in and love on me because in a lot of cases that is what I do.  But I didn’t take in to account that others have their own lives and their own dramas or that I didn’t voice my need for a shoulder to cry on as I should have if I truly wanted one.  No, instead I just sat and stewed and talked with God about everything (which is what I was supposed to do anyway).  I kept thinking, though, that I had become the boy that cried wolf one to many times with all my drama and people were just tired of hearing it and being my shoulder to cry on.  That was me thinking I was being targeted and I didn’t realize it.

Then I went and got back into the boundaries book that I had neglected all week.  In chapter Two we are talking about our own responsibilities when it comes to our boundaries.  Our feelings are one of them.  “Feelings should neither be ignored nor placed in charge.”  I unfortunately have allowed my feelings to be in charge way to many times.  Those and my thoughts about what others are thinking about me.  Someone told me years ago that it’s none of my business what others think of me.  That is their business and their problem.  And she was right!  The only ones opinion that matters is Gods.  Back to the boundaries, though, we need to also realize that sometimes, even in our times of need, that others need to keep their boundaries with us.  We can’t push ourselves on them no matter how much we think we need them.  We need to respect them and their boundaries just as we want them to respect ours.

Now to the last of the saying above.  “Something far more cunning and ancient has you in its sights, because the dragon is afraid of what you carry!!!”   This is why we always seem to be at war!  We are all children of the Jehovah Sabaoth, The Lord of Hosts and the commander of heavens armies.  And that something wants to destroy us because of our ABBA.  That something knows who is going to win in the end but is doing its best to change the story.  It does this by turning us against each other.  It does this by taking loved ones, tearing apart families, taking away anything that it believes will make us crumble.  What it isn’t taking into account is that sometimes that crumbling is what will eventually make us stronger.

So after marinating over all of this last night and this morning I am going to stop my poor pitiful me attitude.  I have and will always in one way or another grieve my grandfather and I am going to stop being disrespectful of others boundaries, learn to do what needs done with my thoughts and feelings properly, and I am going to walk in God’s light and love.


Lord, please forgive me for my nasty attitude the last week if not the last 42 years.  Help me to know what it is to walk in your light and fight in your army.  Guide me in the preparation for this war called life.  May I feel your love through all the mistakes I am bound to make.  I ask that you do the same that I am asking for me, for every single person that is reading this now.  May they feel your loving arms wrapped around them and your feet guiding them through your paths.  We love you and we praise your Holy name.  AMEN